


A is for Athens

by Rose_of_Pollux



Series: Around the World in 26 Days [1]
Category: The Man From U.N.C.L.E. (TV)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-07
Updated: 2017-06-07
Packaged: 2018-11-10 09:28:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 518
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11124390
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rose_of_Pollux/pseuds/Rose_of_Pollux
Summary: In which a mission at the Parthenon involves sightseeing, cats, and really bad puns.





	A is for Athens

**Author's Note:**

> I can only take credit for the final pun; the others are oldies but goodies.

Illya couldn’t help but be amused as Napoleon cast several wide-eyed glances around the Parthenon.

“You look and act just like a tourist,” he scoffed.

“Can you blame me, though?” Napoleon said. “I’m from a country that only has a few hundred years’ worth of history. The Acropolis has been here for three thousand years.” He looked back at Illya, face all aglow. “This is the entire reason I took this job, you know. To be able to see stuff like this.”

“ _Da,_ then continue to do your job,” Illya smirked. “We have to pick up the latest reports from Andreas; he will be meeting with us very soon.”

“Which is why I’m trying to look like a tourist; we want the exchange to be casual,” Napoleon said. “I mean, no sense in drawing any unwanted attention to ourselves, right?” He paused, glancing behind Illya, and then smirked. “Though I think you’ve drawn some attention that you’ll certainly appreciate…”

“Hmm?” Illya asked. Without waiting for an answer, he turned around, and grinned broadly to see a pair of cats looking up at him curiously. He knelt down and began to pet them both.

“I always wonder… Why do ancient places draw so many cats? It’s not just here; I’ve seen them in Egypt and Asia, too,” Napoleon said. “I guess there’s some sort of ancient force at work that makes these places the cat’s meow.”

He grinned as he saw Illya’s shoulders stiffen in exasperation at the pun, and proceeded to take a picture of this scene.

“I’ll call this one ‘Athenian Ailouros.’ It’ll be nice for Baba Yaga to see some of her cousins. And, of course, she’ll appreciate the architecture.”

“You think so?”

“Oh, of course. These cats clearly do. You’ve got some Ionic columns over here, and those Doric columns over there. And of course, that ancient Grecian urn.”

Illya looked up in the direction where Napoleon was indicating, but couldn’t see it.

“ _What’s_ the ancient Grecian urn?” he asked.

“…Oh, about the same as we do, once you’ve adjusted for inflation.”

This time, Illya slowly turned towards him, glaring as Napoleon just kept on grinning.

“What can I say, Illya? Athena, Goddess of Wisdom, just smiles upon me and blesses me with wit!”

He was spared from whatever retort Illya had been planning by Andreas’s timely arrival; the reports were exchanged without a hitch.

“That went well,” Illya said. “And luckily, we seemed to have gone unnoticed. We can head back, or sightsee for a short while longer.”

“Sightsee,” Napoleon nodded. “And I’m sure you want to spend some more quality time with those cats.”

“That, I do,” Illya said, kneeling beside them again and smiling as they meowed. “I would love to know what they say. Alas, it is all Greek to me.”

Napoleon blinked.

“…Did you just…?”

“I am not proud,” Illya confessed. “But I just knew you were sitting on that one. So, I had to beat you to the punch…line.”

Napoleon decided he didn’t mind losing; in fact, he spent the next several minutes doubled over in silent laughter.


End file.
